Illegal immigrants attending Columbia University are demanding that faculty and staff be indoctrinated not to call them illegal immigrants. Oh, and also, that the university provide them with free tuition, health care, and housing.
You can get all that stuff in prison. Just sayin’.
They also say their demands are non-negotiable; to which any sensible university administration would respond, “Well, bye.” And perhaps offer advice on not letting the door hit them where the Good Lord split them on the way out.