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HuffPo’s Deplorable Safari

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Huffington Post is putting their elite writing staff of Pajama Boys and Nasty Women on a bus and sending them out of the East Village and sending them out to visit red states in the Heartland that voted for Trump (although, they will most be going to blue urban islands within red states, actually.)

What They Claim They Will Do: “We will travel the old-fashioned way — via bus — to 20-plus states to hear from some of the under-heard, diverse Americans who make up the communities that form much of our nation. And by working on the ground with community leaders, nonprofits, educational institutions, local businesses and others, we’ll make sure people know we’re there to listen.”

What They Will Actually Do: Talk to other leftists to reinforce their baseline narrative; Leftists are brilliant enlightened people, red staters are rubes, and Middle America would do well to adopt the lifestyles and attitudes of coastal elites. One can almost make a bingo drinking game out of the people who they will be featuring in the pieces that result from this tour. The standard template will be “[Member of the Coalition of the Oppressed] who feels [some emotion].”

  • Mohammedan living in a city/town in a red state who “feels afraid.”
  • Illegal Immigrant living a red state who “feels uncertain”
  • Transgendered person living in a red state who “feels isolated.”
  • Lesbian couple living in a red state who “feel frustrated.”
  • A college professor living in a red state whose campus just legalized concealed carry who “feels isolated, frustrated, and afraid.”
  • A “Christian” (i.e. a lesbian minister at an alternative Episcopal church) who “feels horrified” that any Christian would vote for Trump.

You can mix and match them, of course.  There will also be the odd, “we ate at this out of the way diner/restaurant chain that we had never heard of and it was actually good” type story.

Twitchy has a pretty good send-up of what to expect. Here’s a sample:

Uneducated waitress with internalized misogyny keeps calling me sweetie, I’m literally shaking

There’s this strange place called Dairy Queen. Are women reduced to milk carriers? Literally the Hand Maids Tale.

 

High school football on Friday and church on Sunday aka cis-gender, patriarchal theocracy

Comments

  2. There will also be the odd, “we ate at this out of the way diner/restaurant chain that we had never heard of and it was actually good” type story.

    Unlikely. They’ll have a steady diet of Chick-Fil-A, Starbucks and Chipotle and other “approved” liberal instillations…like keeping strictly-kosher while traveling in a dangerous, strange land. With a very-odd smattering of G/L artisanal free-range coffee-shops and illegal food-trucks…rated by the size of their Pride flag and the outrageousness of the de rigueur pierced Barrista’s pubic hair grooming.

  3. Don’t forget that they will interview the weirdest Trump supporter they can find, selectively edit his interview (of course it will be a white man, never a woman or minority) to make him sound even weirder, then they will make sweeping generalizations of every Trump supporter based on their cherry picked and selectively edited interview.

  4. In the meantime, HuffPo staffers will spend the next few days watching lots of old episodes of “The Dukes of Hazzard” while being briefed on things like local customs and how Middle America uses corn dogs, used tires and Skoal as currency.

    My question: Will they bring Fauxcahontas? I mean, every Lewis and Clark expedition needs a squaw.

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  6. They have already confirmed my thesis:

    “Though many of the cities the group is visiting voted for Hillary Clinton in last year’s election, all but two of the states went to Trump. But Polgreen says they’re not visiting “Trump country,” pointing to a reason for each city or state on the tour like an interesting community college system in Fort Wayne or Detroit’s large Arab-American population. Hillary Frey, HuffPost’s director of editorial strategy who came up with the bus tour idea, also pointed out that logistically it didn’t make sense to go to the corners of the country where the distance from one city to the next would be too far.”

  7. Peter H , your comment cracked me up! I can’t get the image of them sitting around watching “The Dukes Of Hazzard” out of my head! I can remember many years ago when I was 19 and living outside the south for the first time and the outrageous questions people would ask me about Alabama!

  8. #7 – No problem, RD! Most people outside the South (I live in Houston) get these preconceived notions from too much Hollywood fantasy.

    Fanny Flagg had a cute story in her “Fried Green Tomatoes Cookbook” about the time she was filming the movie in Alabama and took a Yankee member of her film crew with her to Piggly-Wiggly for the first time. The Yankee woman was mortified to learn that they sold – get this – PIG FEET in the meat section.

    Fanny said that she also appeared unprepared for other pig parts – snout, ears etc. – appearing in the meat display. Fanny wrote: “I picked up a snout and made a snorting sound as a joke. The woman ran screaming out of the store like a crazy woman, and we haven’t seen her since.”

    Frickin’ BRILLIANT.

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  9. @ Ted B.: Chick-fil-A? I thought that was still on the Leftist black list.

    @ Peter Hughes: She would’ve been absolutely aghast to see the meat section of my local supermarket: chicken gizzards and hearts, cow tongues and liver.

  10. I have a feeling that the HuffPo writers will act like it’s the scene in “To Wong Foo” when they get to some place outside of NYC.

    Regards,
    Peter H.

  13. Chick-fil-A? I thought that was still on the Leftist black list.

    Every Leftie has a guilty travel food-secret they indulge when they think the conservatives aren’t watching. It’s chicken…not sinful beef…clean, friendly and readily available while on a road trip. And cheap-enough that they don’t have to turn in the receipts for reimbursement. LOL!

  14. Hey Peter H, I never did see the movie “To Wong Foo” but i did see “Priscilla Queen of the Desert” years ago. I remember a scene where they get out of their vehicle and stare in disbelief at the highway stretching into the outback. I see from HP’s published itinerary that they are coming to Alabama. If they come in on I85 there is a spot right after you cross over into Alabama from Georgia with cotton fields as far as you can see ( well it used to be , I haven’t been that way in a while) but I can just imagine them getting out and staring at that and being so shook up that they turn around! LOL

  19. Some people don’t like the name, Dairy Queen???

    Well, to keep people from feeling left out, we could change the name of “Burger King”, to something more trendy, like-“Burger Monarch Person”.
    😛