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The Eurotopian Life Is Not for Me

Pretentious twit laments that Europe is so much better than America because hardly anybody works, and most people get to spend their time in posh cafes sipping coffee and reading.

Whenever I go back and forth between Europe and the States, a curious set of facts strikes me.

In London, Paris, Berlin, I hop on the train, head to the cafe — it’s the afternoon, and nobody’s gotten to work until 9am, and even then, maybe not until 10 — order a carefully made coffee and a newly baked croissant, do some writing, pick up some fresh groceries, maybe a meal or two, head home — now it’s 6 or 7, and everyone else has already gone home around 5 — and watch something interesting, maybe a documentary by an academic, the BBC’s Blue Planet, or a Swedish crime-noir. I think back on my day and remember the people smiling and laughing at the pubs and cafes.

In New York, Washington, Philadelphia, I do the same thing, but it is not the same experience at all. I take broken down public transport to the cafe — everybody’s been at work since 6 or 7 or 8, so they already look half-dead — order coffee and a croissant, both of which are fairly tasteless, do some writing, pick up some mass-produced groceries, full of toxins and colourings and GMOs, even if they are labelled “organic” and “fresh”, all forbidden in Europe, head home — people are still at work, though it’s 7 or 8 — and watch something bland and forgettable, reality porn, decline porn, police-state TV. I think back on my day and remember how I didn’t see a single genuine smile — only hard, grim faces, set against despair, like imagine living in Soviet Leningrad.

Everything I consume in the States is of a vastly, abysmally lower quality. Every single thing. The food, the media, little things like fashion, art, public spaces, the emotional context, the work environment, and life in general.

First of all… New York, DC, and Philadelphia are basically the branch offices of Hell on Earth, so no wonder nobody there ever smiles. Second, Umair Haque is a pretentious little bitch. Who TF cares what you think, pretentious little bitch.

There’s this thing that the middle-aged white women who run our culture want to catch on. It’s a Danish concept called hygge. It’s pronounced Hoo-Gah, so right off the bat you see it isn’t even spelled properly. What it means is, being snug in your home reading and burning candles, or maybe having a few friends over to drink tea or cocoa by candlelight, cocooning yourselves in heavy sweaters and blankets and feeling great because that’s what life is all about. And supposedly, hygge is this really terrific thing that makes Danes and Scandinavians happy and wonderful.

It isn’t. It’s pretty much the only activity you have left when the Government is confiscating 60% or more of your income to fund the welfare state (plus a 25% Value-Added-Tax on all goods and services). You can’t do anything fun because you don’t have enough money. So you are left with the lifestyle socialist white women would want you to have; and now they are telling you that you should enjoy it. Who needs fun stuff like video games or snowmobiles, when you can be drinking cocoa under a blanket watching Swedish crime-noir or British documentaries.

If Scandianavian countries are ‘the happiest places in the world’ as leftists contend, why do they have the highest rates of anti-depressant usage in the world?



  1. So, the question that comes to mind is; who got up at 6am when no one was working, to make her croissant? “Lovingly”, no less. Who made and served her coffee? Who was serving and waiting tables at the bars and cafes after 5pm, when again, no one was working? And out of 500 channels, why did she chose to watch ‘reality porn’?

    Comment by Karen — December 27, 2017 @ 12:19 pm - December 27, 2017

  2. From what I understand Swedish women had best stay at home lest be raped by roving immigrant gangs.

    Also you have to remember the non-lazy Europeans left to come to the build the so you tend to have a culture of better work ethic.

    Comment by CH — December 27, 2017 @ 12:40 pm - December 27, 2017

  3. CH, you beat me to it…. I was wondering what they will do when the Islamic no-go zones become the whole of Europe and they begin destroying the remnants of western civilization. Will Chartres and Notre Dame become huge mosques or just be blown to bits? There’s some reality porn for ya…. Oh yeah, and the Louvre, now those nasty statues and pictures have got to go!

    Comment by Rex — December 27, 2017 @ 1:04 pm - December 27, 2017

  4. This snotty Millennial brat is like pajama boy, drinking hot cocoa in his mother’s basement. Both are either big young queens, or simpering straight boys that could not get a date with a normal woman.

    Comment by davinci38 — December 27, 2017 @ 1:16 pm - December 27, 2017

  5. No wonder, the real work is being performed by hard-working Poles, Romanians and other eastern European economic migrants while these faux-“elites” sip lattes. Nearly one-half of metropolitan Greater London are foreign-born.

    Ambitious Brits are traveling to or staying in the north in the Midlands, York, East Anglia, and to the West Country, voting Brexit. My second-favorite British vblogger is a 19-yo blacksmith in Norfolk who has more energy and 7am-ambition than the Energizer Bunny. He into guns, and makes swords, knives and teaches hard work and smithing…

    He’s also easy on the eyes …and can do full splits in work-pants and boots.
    [I have my own private theory on how and why.]

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — December 27, 2017 @ 1:27 pm - December 27, 2017

  6. Liberals see what they want to see and experience what they want to experience. They live in a world of fabrication.

    Comment by Hanover — December 27, 2017 @ 1:52 pm - December 27, 2017

  7. Umair Haque writes this:

    There is a myth of exceptionalism in America that prevents it from looking outward, and learning from the world. It is made up of littler myths about greed being good, the weak deserving nothing, society being an arena, not a lever, for the survival of the fittest — and America is busy recounting those myths, not learning from the world, in slightly weaker (Democrats) or stronger (Republicans) forms.

    Oh. I see. Psychobabble is now PhD worthy.

    Umair Haque earned a degree in neuroscience at McGill University, and his M.B.A. … He started his PhD at the University of Oxford in 2004, and he is the founder of Bubblegeneration. Currently, he is the Director of Havas Media Lab, and is a columnist for the Harvard Business Review.

    I am sorry that Umair Haque can’t find his food tastes, cafes and buddy types in the USA, but I am not sure the US needs a makeover just to suit his tastes. (click on Umair Haque to see himself.)

    Comment by Heliotrope — December 27, 2017 @ 1:56 pm - December 27, 2017

  8. Scandinavian nations were the happiest in the world until they invited the 3rd world in.

    Rex- Thankfully Crooked Eye Clinton didn’t get in, so she couldn’t repeat her husbands attacking hospitals and journalists first when the Serbs tried to kick out illegal alien moslems.

    “And when they behead your own people in the wars, which are to come, then you will know what this was all about.” — Slobodan Milosevic

    In anyone is interested you can get in on a pre order of Impalement Stops Invasion t-shirts

    Comment by Steve — December 27, 2017 @ 1:57 pm - December 27, 2017

  9. Umair Haque earned a degree in neuroscience at McGill University, and his M.B.A.

    His brain works in French. Enough said…

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — December 27, 2017 @ 2:52 pm - December 27, 2017

  10. @ 8, Stormfront Steve!

    Comment by John C — December 27, 2017 @ 3:08 pm - December 27, 2017

  11. Karen, you had exactly the same thought as me about the croissant making and coffee serving. In fact, I’m the guy that does that at the hotel I work for. I get up at 3:30 AM so I can spend an hour walking my dog, which we both love, get to work by 5:15 AM and make my guests happy from 6:30 until 10:00. I love every minute of my work day and I work hard to put “genuine smiles” on my guests’ faces. When I’m done by 1:00 PM, I have lots of time to take my dog to the park where he sits and sniffs, and I sit and read. Sometimes I just float in my pool and stare at the clouds. I don’t need to go abroad to find happiness…I just make good choices here.

    Comment by Hunter — December 27, 2017 @ 3:56 pm - December 27, 2017

  12. Do people like Umair give any thought at all as to who does the actual work? House elves? Oompa-loompas? Morlocs?

    I’d like more leisure time but, truth be told, I can’t say I’d do much useful with it. And, looking around, people do seem to have way too much time on their hands.

    Comment by KCRob — December 27, 2017 @ 6:21 pm - December 27, 2017

  13. Europeans “pick up fresh groceries” because the refrigerators they all have are only slightly larger than the one I had in my dorm room. And I get fresh made coffee. Could be fancy, but I actually like coffee. (I could get pastries even being gluten free but I’m dieting). And no, not at Starbucks.

    I’m not sure what restaurants she is complaining about, but if she only eats at chains in the US, that’s her choice.

    Friends moved to London a while back. (He took a job.) Even knowing they would have to downsize the SMALLNESS of the apartments available was a shock. I’m sure it is all very “cozy” in the Hygge way. (They lasted about 3 years.) But I prefer my 3 bdrm 2 bath ranch. And my acreage = privacy.

    Comment by Zendo Deb — December 27, 2017 @ 11:29 pm - December 27, 2017

  14. I would never live on the East Coast or travel to Europe. My croissant is delicious and my coffee superb. What was your point?

    Comment by BOB — December 28, 2017 @ 12:47 am - December 28, 2017

  15. I left Europe and all of its snootiness because Montana is a refuge to me, a haven of peace, clean spaces, courteous drivers, space everywhere, big skies, and kind, friendly people, my kind of people.

    All the money in the world could make me go back to live where I come from (Switzerland). Never. I tried. Back in 2014. We were supposed to live in my home country for at least 5 to 10 years, but after two weeks I’ve already began making plans for our return to Montana.

    Within the first two weeks of living there, I remembered everything, absolutely everything, that I’ve forgotten that were all the reasons I’ve left in the first place, 20 years ago.

    Because, let’s be honest, even 20, 30, and 40 years ago, Europe and yes, even Switzerland, were s**tholes. Multicultural cesspools where anything and everything went.

    In Montana, I feel safe, I feel happy, I can breathe, and despite “lifestyle” choices, I don’t feel in any way shape or form different or not a Montanan. I am aware that not every State offers the kind of wide open spaces, physically as well as mentally, but overall, the United States are a clean country, people are good, and most of all they are independent and smart.

    I would never ever not for ten million backs move back to Europe.

    Comment by Nash Montana — December 28, 2017 @ 3:46 am - December 28, 2017

  16. Let’s just say that Huuge is preferable to Hygge.

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — December 28, 2017 @ 10:05 am - December 28, 2017

  17. The Euros are cocooned in heavy sweaters and blankets because they can’t afford to heat their homes properly.
    Here in flyover America it’s 35 degrees out and I’m naked (as usual) because I can afford to keep my house nice and toasty.

    Comment by Steven — December 28, 2017 @ 2:27 pm - December 28, 2017

  18. @ 17,, nice want to share some pics?

    Comment by John C — December 28, 2017 @ 3:30 pm - December 28, 2017

  19. Regarding her comments on ‘pubic’ transportation, it’s only run down because of that awesome ‘duh-versity’, but she can’t or won’t admit that. I’m not a world traveler, but from what I could tell over the years of watching travel shows, there is never any graffiti on Japanese or European or Russian subways. I’m sure there is some reason for that.

    Comment by Someone — December 28, 2017 @ 7:46 pm - December 28, 2017

  20. @ #19,

    Yes, it’s called ‘broken windows’ policing. Permitting/allowing/looking the other way on minor infractions gradually paves the way to those delinquents getting up to more serious trouble. Japan for one is very serious about this…

    Comment by aerinyes — December 29, 2017 @ 8:36 pm - December 29, 2017

  21. If he works in NYC, Philly and DC and can’t find a decent croissant or coffee, he isn’t looking. I get the most wonderful baked goods in NYC and buy the finest coffee ever at Porto Rico on Bleecker St.

    People smiling in London pubs? Usually, they’re sprawled on the pavement outside, covered in vomit from the drink. That must be a sign of pure happiness.

    Comment by miss marmelstein — December 30, 2017 @ 3:35 pm - December 30, 2017

  22. You left Chicago off your list of cities that are anterooms to Hell. is recording its descent into the pit.

    Comment by Zendo Deb — December 30, 2017 @ 9:05 pm - December 30, 2017

  23. I live in Nordic country, our motto is SISU, guts, strength determination, the ability to push through in the worst of circumstances. Here in Finland, we work, we all do something. My husband works a 50 hour week, and has a company on the side. I work 35+ hours a week and go to school. Yes flats/apartments are smaller, we work hard for what we have. Aside from a long weekend we have not had a vacay in years. I am an American have assimilated, learned the language, contribute. Wish so many others would do the same. It is a shame so many want to give their heritage away to people who want to make our country the same as the ones they flee from. Many are standing up.

    Comment by Pamela — December 31, 2017 @ 7:07 am - December 31, 2017

  24. What’s amazing is that Eurotrash living here actually believe this crap, instead of their lying eyes.

    Down the page a ways… note the comparison between U.S. “poor” and average Europeans.

    Comment by Reziac — January 2, 2018 @ 2:52 am - January 2, 2018

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