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Socialism Fantasy Camp

February 5, 2018 by V the K

This is apparently not a parody account:

With genuine socialism, you would be doing work that you actually enjoy and want to do. All work will be voluntary. No one would be made to do anything they don’t want to do. That is what happens under capitalism.

— The Socialist Party (@OfficialSPGB) January 30, 2018

So, under socialism, only foot fetishists will work in shoe stores, bedpans will be emptied by coprophiliacs, and potatoes will be dug by… poor people overseen by armed men because nobody in the real world is going to do it just for the gratification of feeding smug populations of urban elites who spend their days making Twitter posts about how awesome socialism is. 

Until someone invents replicators so we can have Luxury Authoritarian Space Communism a la Star Trek, this scheme of “everybody works for the common good and does whatever they want” isn’t going to work. And even in the Trek universe, there is still scarcity. If everyone is living in a high-rise condo, who gets the top floor with the view? Who has to be next to the turbolift? I imagine there would have to be an entire bureaucracy of people making those allocations; people who were really passionate about telling other people where they get to live and suchlike. 

Filed Under: Socialism in America

Comments

  1. Hanover says

    February 5, 2018 at 9:59 am - February 5, 2018

    On Twitter there’s been a presence of a few die-hard socialists for years who filter and confront others who point out the evils of socialism. They use reverse psychology in an attempt to shame people. They fail miserably. they’re not in touch with actual history and reality.

  2. Craig Smith says

    February 5, 2018 at 10:01 am - February 5, 2018

    Does this guy honestly think people don’t gravitate toward doing the things they like to do?

  3. miss marmelstein says

    February 5, 2018 at 10:34 am - February 5, 2018

    Witty comment, V! Maybe some vegan would enjoy potato-pickin’.

  4. RSG says

    February 5, 2018 at 10:38 am - February 5, 2018

    In true applied socialism, there would be a number of vegans working in packing plants (think abattoirs, not Amazon warehouses).

  5. Heliotrope says

    February 5, 2018 at 10:54 am - February 5, 2018

    Clearly, those who dig, hoe, tote, slop, etc. will be happy being lobotomized.

    Those who believe is this view of the future have already been lobotomized by the music of the spheres emanating from the choir of the gods they do desperately worship.

  6. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 12:50 pm - February 5, 2018

    When I read stuff like that, after what happened in 1789, 1791, 1793 in my country, and later on from 1917 and on, on 4 continents quasi non stop… I almost want to smash my head against the wall.

  7. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 1:34 pm - February 5, 2018

    Socialism : the Evergreen Permanent Delusion State of Retards

    Step 1) inception — c. 1850

    https://imgur.com/a/bR0yO

    …

    Step N) continued probing 1998–present

    https://imgur.com/a/fGcda

  8. Ted B. (Charging Rhino) says

    February 5, 2018 at 1:50 pm - February 5, 2018

    Egalitarians fit-in fine when they marry-into the aristocracy, but who volunteers to be a forelock-tugging dirt-sucking peasant?

    The Shakers went extinct. The Soviet experiment was a disaster, and the PRC collectives succumbed to politics and corruption. Even the highly-motivated and incentivized Israeli Kibbutzim ultimately failed in many respects.

    Most revolutions eat their young, and the leaders turn on the compatriots, eventually establishing dictatorship and tyranny by the 2nd or 3rd-generation of “revolutionary leaders; the English Civil War, the French Revolution and it’s succeeding Republics, the Russian Revolution, the Wiemar Republic, Venezuela.

    The only “revolutions” that succeeded without massive bloodshed, retribution and blood-thirsty tribunals were the British Glorious Revolution, the American Revolution and Meiji Japan. The key there was they were actually counter-revolutions to preserve much of the traditional status-quo maintaining much of the elites and existing civil society intact.

  9. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 1:54 pm - February 5, 2018

    Elitist socialist morons, 1825: “Socialism is working with Owen, in New Harmony, Indiana!”

    Elitist socialist morons, 1920: “Socialism is working with Lenin, in USSR!”

    Elitist socialist morons, 1936: “Socialism is working with Hitler, in Germany!”

    Elitist socialist morons, 1949: “Socialism is working with Mao, in China!”

    Elitist socialist morons, 1959: “Socialism is working with Castro, in Cuba!”

    (for sake of terseness, skip a bunch of eastern Europe countries 1945-1989, South East Asia, half of South America, central America, most of Africa…)

    Elitist socialist morons, 1999: “Socialism is working with Chavez, in Venezuela!”

    Elitist socialist morons, today: “Socialism is working in Sweden!”

    WTF.

  10. Rex says

    February 5, 2018 at 3:22 pm - February 5, 2018

    Some pigs will always be more equal than other pigs in… THE GREAT SOCIALIST UTOPIA…. witness Warren, Sanders, Clinton,Waters,etc…

  11. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 3:36 pm - February 5, 2018

    @10 yeah

    1) Face, Meet Palm
    2) Lather, rinse, repeat

  12. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 4:48 pm - February 5, 2018

    Probably just sharing with the choir, but Marian Tupy made a good write up a while back — Socialism and Self-Delusion

    http://humanprogress.org/blog/socialism-and-self-delusion

    and could (sadly) keep up with a recent update — What are the Exceptions to Human Progress?

    http://humanprogress.org/blog/what-are-the-exceptions-to-human-progress

  13. Karen says

    February 5, 2018 at 4:51 pm - February 5, 2018

    #6 Don’t forget the Tragedy of the Commons.

  14. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 5:01 pm - February 5, 2018

    @13 yeah, I know; one could also quote Juvenal’s premonitions,

    http://money.visualcapitalist.com/currency-and-the-collapse-of-the-roman-empire

    Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses

    Juvenal (2nd century, AD) Satire X

  15. salg says

    February 5, 2018 at 6:09 pm - February 5, 2018

    what happens if their is a job nobody wants to do? what happens if their isn’t any job I want to do?

  16. KCRob says

    February 5, 2018 at 6:12 pm - February 5, 2018

    @6: Cyril – rejoice! Under socialism, there will be someone willing and able to smash their head into a wall – saving you the trouble.

  17. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 6:17 pm - February 5, 2018

    @16 Indeed, either a wall or a tree,

    Chankiri Tree

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chankiri_Tree

    … as their imagination knows no bounds — does it not?

  18. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 6:26 pm - February 5, 2018

    @15 answer:

    “… then you’re out of luck,” as the 20th century’s trademarked pile of one (or two?) hundred millions corpses may hint at you from the hereafter.

  19. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 7:13 pm - February 5, 2018

    But… “what if…” ?

    https://imgur.com/a/q91Us

    #TheYodaMe

  20. Matthew the Oilman says

    February 5, 2018 at 8:42 pm - February 5, 2018

    I have a feeling that they have already chosen the people who will do the work that no one wants to do, it’s us. As Lenin and St.Paul have said, those who do not work shall not eat.

  21. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 10:09 pm - February 5, 2018

    Evergreen College Job Applicant #69

    https://imgur.com/a/gE8Am

    #WageGag

  22. Cyril J. says

    February 5, 2018 at 10:40 pm - February 5, 2018

    Unequal Opportunity Employment

    https://imgur.com/a/mgS5w

    (Only in D.C.)

  23. Southern Man says

    February 5, 2018 at 10:40 pm - February 5, 2018

    I am fortunate to have a bearable and occasionally pleasant job that brings in enough income to provide all of my needs and many of my wants. But what I WANT to do is engage in my hobbies, pretty much all day. That benefits no one, except my friends in the same hobby.

    New flash: no one WANTS to do road work, or drill for oil, or run electric power plants, or build buildings, or work on cargo ships, or harvest potatoes.

  24. Sennacherib says

    February 5, 2018 at 11:12 pm - February 5, 2018

    As you and all of the commenters have said in one way or the other; It boils down to “who decides and who decides who decides”. After that for them it’s just what’s your position in the line of dogs. After being dog #1 it’s pretty much the same.

  25. Ted Bunker (Charging Rhino) says

    February 6, 2018 at 6:57 am - February 6, 2018

    Most good little SJW-types just assume that being good little Lefties that they’ll naturally get to be first on the list to be the Commissar-in-charge — or at-least his deputy — when usually the only list they’re fated to be high-on finds them kneeling by a shallow ditch along some dirt road somewhere.

    “But, …but I was loyal. I attended all the rallies. I marched for the Cause. I bought the t-shirts…”
    “Yes, a troublemaker.” **crack**
    “Next!“

  26. Cyril J. says

    February 6, 2018 at 9:53 am - February 6, 2018

    @25 yup

  27. Steve says

    February 6, 2018 at 4:06 pm - February 6, 2018

    Star Drek had replicators but kept running into meds ect that couldn’t be replicated.

  28. Ted B. (Charging Rhino) says

    February 6, 2018 at 4:24 pm - February 6, 2018

    Meanwhile, …an American capitalist just successfully-launched his Cherry-Red Tesla roadster …TO MARS, and stuck the landings!

    Y A Y !!

  29. Cyril J. says

    February 6, 2018 at 8:15 pm - February 6, 2018

    Pop Quizz

    Q: what’s the difference between Rocco Siffredi and a socialist?

    A: Rocco Siffredi cannot do more than three people at a time.

  30. Cyril J. says

    February 6, 2018 at 8:59 pm - February 6, 2018

    A delegation of foreign communists came to Soviet Russia to visit a Moscow kindergarten.

    Before they came, the kids were instructed to answer every question by the visitors with just one sentence, “In the USSR everything is the best in the world.”

    The visitors came and asked their questions:

    “Children, do you like your kindergarten?”

    “In the USSR everything is the best in the world!” the kids shouted.

    “And what about the food you get?”

    “In the USSR everything is the best in the world!”

    “Do you like your toys?”

    “In the USSR everything is the best in the world!”

    At that, the youngest boy in the group started crying.

    “Misha, why are you crying? What happened?”

    “I want to go to the USSR!”

  31. Pawfurbehr says

    February 7, 2018 at 12:20 pm - February 7, 2018

    @ 30, I have seen that in many North Korean documentaries. Everything is choreographed

  32. Tom says

    February 7, 2018 at 4:15 pm - February 7, 2018

    Whether it’s the USSR or Galt’s Gulch, someone will have to clean the toilets. And, if fewer people enjoy cleaning toilets than there are toilets that need cleaning, then sooner or later, there will be a need for someone to do a job that he or she does not want to do.

    Most jobs are not fun. That’s why employers have to pay the employees money to get them to do it.

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