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Salacious Crumbs

Leathery alcoholic “celebrity” Chelsea Handler wants to have sex with a Republican.

In my effort to achieve some level of bipartisanship, my goal this year was to sleep with a Republican—
voluntarily. It’s going to be tricky.

Personally, I think she’s got this covered already. There had to be a few Republicans in the 7th fleet, right?

Oh, and Marlon Brando banged Richard Pryor because it was the seventies.

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19 Comments

  1. Wasn’t Handler moving to Spain or Canada after the Trump election? She probably was denied asylum in either…

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — February 9, 2018 @ 12:03 pm - February 9, 2018

  2. Richard Pryor must have geeked out on cocaine to hook up with Marlon Brando. He wasn’t exactly that great looking by the 70s.

    Comment by James — February 9, 2018 @ 12:09 pm - February 9, 2018

  3. She’s right, it will be difficult for her to find a Republican who’d be willing to bed her.

    Comment by J- — February 9, 2018 @ 12:51 pm - February 9, 2018

  4. I didn’t even think a Democrat would want her.

    Comment by James — February 9, 2018 @ 1:50 pm - February 9, 2018

  5. What’s more intriguing to me is the lame lip service she uses to justify her interest in doing a conservative.

    Read slowly how she worded it and ponder.

    Wild guess. Would she actually start getting tired of her regular beta beta beta beta beta males?

    Who knows.

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 9, 2018 @ 1:56 pm - February 9, 2018

  6. Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk 🙂

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 9, 2018 @ 1:58 pm - February 9, 2018

  7. Women.

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 9, 2018 @ 2:00 pm - February 9, 2018

  8. OT —

    Q: What’s LXIX?

    A: 69 … the hard way

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 9, 2018 @ 2:02 pm - February 9, 2018

  9. Back on topic, you may note she failed to mention the incentive as to why a conservative might go along with that.

    God forbid her friends have started working on a bill for, say, some “equitable sex mandate”!

    *shivers*

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 9, 2018 @ 2:13 pm - February 9, 2018

  10. I look upon Chelsea Handler as genderless dandelion fluff with no staying power and safe from breeding anything useful.

    That “she” wants so much to get laid is sad. I suggest she stand by the exit door of the local lock-up and pay the newly released inmate $100.00 and a new KIA for doing the nasty on her. She might get lucky.

    Comment by Heliotrope — February 9, 2018 @ 2:32 pm - February 9, 2018

  11. And all this time, I honestly thought she was a lesbian! Angry–check! Strident–check, check! Unattractive–in spades!

    Comment by runningrn — February 9, 2018 @ 3:13 pm - February 9, 2018

  12. Sadly, Handler shares the same taste in men as the divine Milo.

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — February 9, 2018 @ 3:19 pm - February 9, 2018

  13. @10 She can always try to fish in Qatar or at the Saudis.

    They’ve got their own brand of staunch conservatives over there, do they not?

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 9, 2018 @ 3:32 pm - February 9, 2018

  14. They’ve got their own brand of staunch conservatives over there, do they not?

    And then, 71 virgins.

    Comment by Ignatius — February 9, 2018 @ 10:05 pm - February 9, 2018

  15. How long am I gonna have to wait to find out which guys were lucky enough to bed Michael Fassbender?

    Comment by Ignatius — February 9, 2018 @ 10:09 pm - February 9, 2018

  16. Sadly, Handler shares the same taste in men as the divine Milo.

    Nubian alpha types?

    Comment by RSG — February 10, 2018 @ 12:28 pm - February 10, 2018

  17. Marlon Brando banged Richard Pryor because it was the seventies

    And Lena Dunham, naked, ate a cake in a bathroom stall because it is the 2010s.

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 10, 2018 @ 2:11 pm - February 10, 2018

  18. (To each era its statement, I guess)

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 10, 2018 @ 2:12 pm - February 10, 2018

  19. Eww, but I admit I find the idea of nailing Mark Ruffalo appealing.

    Comment by dennis — February 10, 2018 @ 2:18 pm - February 10, 2018

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