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“Rape Horticulture”

Posted by V the K at 10:43 am - February 14, 2018.
Filed under: Humor

I initially mistook him for a serious lefty, but Tyler Baines-Cadbury is my new favorite troll.

A reminder on Valentines Day that flowers cannot consent to being picked. What’s more, offering mutilated plant genitals to a female in exchange for access to her genitals is profiting directly from rape culture. This is known as rape horticulture.


Rape Horticulture is a serious issue that affects 95% of all flowers at some point in their lives.


When you can literally go to the countryside and be surrounded by whole fields of rape, that’s when you understand that as a society we still have a long way to go.

I will send him money.



  1. *zing!* [Jokes about leading a whore to culture soon to follow.]

    Comment by Ignatius — February 14, 2018 @ 10:53 am - February 14, 2018

  2. Witty.

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 14, 2018 @ 11:13 am - February 14, 2018

  3. It’s definitely hard to tell what is satire these days.

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 14, 2018 @ 11:19 am - February 14, 2018

  4. well i’m a vegetable rights advocate and have long criticized the inhuman treatment of vegetables by vegetarians.

    Comment by salg — February 14, 2018 @ 11:24 am - February 14, 2018

  5. Plot twist: the Tyler guy is an anti-SJW pretending to be a SJW doing satire of anti-SJWs doing satire of SJWs.

    Either that, or the opposite.

    Infinite loop.

    That’s the height of a software bug in my domain.

    In math, that’s the absurd contradiction.

    Darn. How did we get there with flowers vs Valentine’s Day?!

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 14, 2018 @ 11:28 am - February 14, 2018

  6. @5 in comp. sci. and math, of course, the solution to get out of the absurd is well known, since Godel, Church, Turing, et al.

    Look for the thing that makes the fixpoint non-terminating or totally absent.

    The thing that is nowhere properly defined.

    Above, that’s all encompassed in the “SJ” strict prefix.


    Comment by Cyril J. — February 14, 2018 @ 11:57 am - February 14, 2018

  7. @6 Oh, and one of the really hard metaphysical questions the pessimistic-me regularly ponders about on that matter is,

    what’s the more harmful — an inexistent or a non-terminating fixpoint?

    In comp. sci., we really only have the latter kind to worry about (you need some little hands to build the stoopid iPhone first before you get a chance to complain how the game it runs, eg, sucks the whole damn battery).

    In math, they have both, you just need to choose between classical and intuitionistic logic to get rid of the one you find too lame to bother about.

    But, in philosophy, I suspect there are both also — and that’s probably the tough nut to crack as to figure out which will shove your sorry body in the ditch first.

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 14, 2018 @ 12:14 pm - February 14, 2018

  8. But are they free-range flowers?

    Comment by TheQuietMan — February 14, 2018 @ 2:45 pm - February 14, 2018

  9. Funny, he doesn’t look Druish.

    Comment by Sathar — February 14, 2018 @ 7:34 pm - February 14, 2018

  10. @1

    A rich Beverly Hills woman got very angry at her maid. After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.

    The maid couldn’t allow such abuse to go unanswered. “Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam.”

    “I suppose my husband told you that?”

    “Yes, he did. And furthermore,” the angry maid continued, “I am better in bed than you!”

    “And I suppose my husband told you that, too?”

    “No, Madam,” said the maid. “The mailman did.”

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 14, 2018 @ 8:33 pm - February 14, 2018

  11. Speaking of Druish, did anyone notice that gay icon, ex-baseballer and coconut oil solitaire devotee Gab Kapler is the hunky new manager of the Phillies? . . .D.I.L.F !!

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — February 15, 2018 @ 3:18 am - February 15, 2018

  12. Canola
    is Rape.

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — February 15, 2018 @ 11:10 am - February 15, 2018

  13. Ted B. (#12) Excellent! ROTFL

    Comment by TheQuietMan — February 15, 2018 @ 10:47 pm - February 15, 2018

  14. Canola
    is Rape.

    Duh…it’s right in the name of the plant!

    Comment by RSG — February 16, 2018 @ 9:31 am - February 16, 2018

  15. Only if it doesn’t involve Mazola.

    Comment by Ignatius — February 16, 2018 @ 12:12 pm - February 16, 2018

  16. @15 On the other hand, Nutella somehow prevents rape…

    … only at the cost of burning its avid consumerrefugee centers to the ground.

    Comment by Cyril J. — February 16, 2018 @ 4:37 pm - February 16, 2018

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