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Did I Miss Anything?

So, that thing gay people watch was on last night. What’s it called? The Osrics, or something? I’ve never watched an Osric broadcast in my entire life, and I’m sure not about to start now.

So, tell me… were there a lot of smug people in expensive outlets congratulating each other over how awesome they all were? Were there overtly political speeches? Did the smug overdressed people hoot for the political speeches?  Was there hypocritical grandstanding about sexual harassment? Were awards given to pretentious, mediocre films that played to the left-wing sensibilities of Hollywood deciders?

You don’t need to answer. The scientific instrument has not yet been made with sufficient granularity to assess my indifference.

(So why are you writing about it? Because shut up, that’s why.)

 

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32 Comments

  1. I love you, Gay Pat!

    Comment by Susan Miller — March 5, 2018 @ 9:45 am - March 5, 2018

  2. What’s the difference between the Oscars and the State of the Union address?

    The first features people who can’t stand each other getting together to pretend they like each other.

    The second features people who like each other getting together to pretend they hate each other.

    Comment by Niall — March 5, 2018 @ 9:47 am - March 5, 2018

  3. The Mrs. commandeered the remote and I napped and watched with one eye.

    The highlight for me the Oscar for best lunch truck which brought three people to the stage. A woman thanked her wife, a man thanked his husband and a third man thanked his wife.

    Stunning. What is the story with the man who has a wife? Intersectionality? Gay rebellion? Transgenderism?

    Clarice Feldman had this one yesterday:

    Students are increasingly coming to college ill prepared to do the work required, and the (overstaffed) administrations are still piddling about inventing new ways to tongue-tie pupils, ignoring that the English language – unlike, for example, Romance-based ones, Hebrew, Greek, and German – is remarkably devoid of gender specificity except for the basic pronouns, which clarify meaning. Try this out with zhee: Tom and Mary went to school. Zhee passed; zhee flunked out. Who?

    Dear old Hollyweird is set on reshaping the world to fit their snitty fits.

    Why do I think that trio was being rewarded for their diversity” and their useful utility?

    Then I stopped napping and slept.

    Comment by Heliotrope — March 5, 2018 @ 9:51 am - March 5, 2018

  4. What was Armie Hammer wearing? Purple velvet?
    And Miss Rippon? …PLEEEZE!

    Worse Liberal Misfire by the writers; Wes Studdi military “tribute”, …**crickets**. He was sincere, but he should fire his agent for talking him into it.

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — March 5, 2018 @ 9:54 am - March 5, 2018

  5. I only made sure to watch the end of it because I was curious to see if Darkest Hour was going to win I guess its subdued intersectionality disqualified its chances.

    Intersectionality h/t heliotrope

    Comment by Hanover — March 5, 2018 @ 10:12 am - March 5, 2018

  6. Actors suffer from the delusion that if the audience likes the character the actor pretends to be, the audience must also like the actor.

    Comment by Juan — March 5, 2018 @ 10:17 am - March 5, 2018

  7. What was Armie Hammer wearing? Purple velvet?

    I thought it looked like red velvet to me, if you please. Whatever color it was, it was definitely velvet.

    Comment by RSG — March 5, 2018 @ 10:29 am - March 5, 2018

  8. Gay man sets trend for cat ladies

    http://www.washingtonblade.com/2018/03/01/single-man-builds-boyfriend-wine-boxes/

    Comment by Steve — March 5, 2018 @ 10:33 am - March 5, 2018

  9. I have never watched the Oscars there was always something better to do.

    Comment by Steve — March 5, 2018 @ 10:38 am - March 5, 2018

  10. I thought it would be a 3-hour gun control rally; it turned out to be a 3-hour DACA rally.
    The Best picture (really?), “The Shape of Water” ,is nothing more than a New Age version of “Creature from the Black Lagoon”

    Comment by Jec — March 5, 2018 @ 10:53 am - March 5, 2018

  11. Hollywood: “Can you believe those Republicans almost elected a sick pedophile who chased high school girls when he was in this thirties?”

    Also Hollywood: “OMG, that movie about the thirtysomething gay man and the high school boy was such a beautiful romance.”

    Comment by V the K — March 5, 2018 @ 11:20 am - March 5, 2018

  12. Reportedly, the Best Picture award was a real cliffhanger, as even the professional bookies were stumped (and they now have an analytical model to accurately predict between two films as to which is more likely to win). However, as soon as they read off the nominees before the correct envelope was opened, I knew which title was going to get it; and I was right.

    AFAIK, for all the huffing and puffing about ‘diversity’ and getting rid of “old white men”, the AMPAS membership base hasn’t changed much since Brokeback Mountain was denied Best Picture honors. Which is to say it skews older, and white, and probably male—and heterosexual. That’s the demographic that thinks a film set in a bygone era concerning a romantic attraction between a pasty white woman and an underwater creature is ‘edgy’ enough to be worthy of the top honor. Even if they didn’t particularly like it, their wives did and that was enough for them to cast the ballot in its favor. At least the weakest entry, Get Out, didn’t get the nod. I like the comedic stylings of Jordan Peele, but he’s definitely has a strong SJW bent. He needs to read Louis B. Mayer’s famous quote a few times: “If you want to send a message, call Western Union.”

    Overall the ceremony wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I muted the monologue by ABC’s insufferable late night host and I was glad I did, as it contained a gratuitous dig at the sitting Vice President (seriously, I think Mike Pence occupies more real estate rent-free among the Beautiful People than POTUS does). The host was playing to the audience in front of him, all or most of whom are past or future guests on his show. Unfortunately, that’s only a minuscule part of the total viewing audience—many of whom don’t care about who he has on his silly little show, much less watch it.

    As I predicted, the pressure was on to keep the acceptance speeches short, even to the point of awarding a gimmicky door prize to the winner with the shortest speech. (Not sure what a gay guy in NYC is going to do with a Jet Ski, but perhaps he’ll be popular next summer in Provincetown or Rehoboth or Fire Island.) As such, the impromptu pontificating was kept to a minimum. Gary Oldman generally got raves for having the most traditional acceptance speech—humble & self-effacing, with gratitude towards his adopted home, the USA and towards the person whose portrayal made his award possible, Sir Winston Churchill. Frances McDormand almost gave palpitations to both awards showrunners and those who think a brief acknowledgment of gratitude is sufficient when she sat her statuette on the stage and announced: “I have a lot I need to say.” But in the end it was reminiscent of some of the acceptance speeches of the late 70s & 80s—a sisters-are-doing-it-for-themselves message of empowerment. Even with the host’s gimmicky fillers, the broadcast still came at ten minutes under the allotted time. Nowadays, that’s considered a sign of a successful production.

    Comment by RSG — March 5, 2018 @ 11:35 am - March 5, 2018

  13. I didn’t watch either—haven’t watched those smug turds in entertainment at any awards show in years. However, Hollywood hypocrites, those #timesup! #metoomofos! awarded an Oscar to rapist, Kobe Bryant, I sh*t you not.

    His acceptance speech went like this:

    “As a basketball player, you’re really supposed to shut up and dribble, but I’m glad we’re doing a little bit more than that.” And apparently, not one person booed, turned their back or walked out on him, and Jimmy Kimmel was like totes ok with it all.

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/arianelange/kobe-bryant-oscar-me-too?utm_term=.fdAR7qA1m#.rrpnlQvwA

    Comment by runningrn — March 5, 2018 @ 12:04 pm - March 5, 2018

  14. What was Armie Hammer wearing? Purple velvet?

    If it had been cut as a smoking jacket, …well maybe. But definitely NOT with matching pants. Black wool-only Tux-slacks, especially when you’re 6′-5″.

    I guess he doesn’t have ANY gay friends…

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — March 5, 2018 @ 12:18 pm - March 5, 2018

  15. RSG @ #12 notes:

    Which is to say it skews older, and white, and probably male—and heterosexual. That’s the demographic that thinks a film set in a bygone era concerning a romantic attraction between a pasty white woman and an underwater creature is ‘edgy’ enough to be worthy of the top honor. Even if they didn’t particularly like it, their wives did and that was enough for them to cast the ballot in its favor.

    Strange, isn’t it, that “the academy” is “responsible” for awarding attention to the Hollyweird zeitgeist and is thereby judged accordingly.

    Choosing the “best” picture of the year is a fool’s errand and who better to take it on than a bunch of fools with no map. The Hollyweird chattering class is no different from the liberal blathering elites who swig vinegar and set their compasses on “negative.” That way, the “best” is actually the entry with the least negative broadsides stuck to it.

    There is nothing more meaningless than caring about how “the academy” poops its sausage.

    “The academy” is a sham feature of Tinsel Town narcissism. The Academy Awards are played to the cast, not the movie audiences. Those elite clowns may well be masters of their particular skills, but they are also at the mercy of simple economics. The rubes, deplorables and tainted trash that buy the movie tickets are loathed unworthies.

    The movie barons with their studio system of control knew a hell of lot more about the business of making movies than anyone in “the academy” of today is willing to admit. That Hollyweird is just getting around to the “discovery” of the casting couch earns this crowd the crown jewel of hypocrisy.

    Hollyweird is a closed society with a strict code regulating acceptance. They scold. They hector. They disdain. They obsess. They ostracize. All in the name of diversity and inclusion.

    The universal problem in all art is acceptance. Whinging about what should be accepted is a universal habit among artists. They call it being understood. But it is the barbarians in the hinterlands who decide what to support and what to ignore.

    Comment by Heliotrope — March 5, 2018 @ 2:00 pm - March 5, 2018

  16. @ 8, if I knew then what I know now….

    Comment by James — March 5, 2018 @ 2:26 pm - March 5, 2018

  17. Hollyweird is a closed society with a strict code regulating acceptance. They scold. They hector. They disdain. They obsess. They ostracize

    Hollywood is basically middle school girls.

    Comment by V the K — March 5, 2018 @ 2:59 pm - March 5, 2018

  18. How incredibly tone-deaf and clueless these people are. Call Me By Your Name was made to “upset Mike Pence”? I have have Left-leaning friends who, over a few drinks, have confessed being put-off by the subject matter of that film, and disturbed by how loudly the film was celebrated on the Left.

    I am willing to be money that the Left is experiencing a slow, silent exodus of its more moderate members in the wake of the past two years’ madness. Slow because they aren’t quite willing to cross over to the Right, but are certainly being left high and dry by the denizens of Wonderland. Silent because voicing discomfort with the actions of the Wonderlanders results in immediate and vicious social and virtual reprisal.

    Comment by Sean L — March 5, 2018 @ 5:14 pm - March 5, 2018

  19. That film (not movie) from Cracked Studios looks like it might be good. Will probably wait for the DVD, though.

    Comment by KCRob — March 5, 2018 @ 6:40 pm - March 5, 2018

  20. Over at the Claremont Review, we learn:

    The critical darling of the year, Call Me By Your Name is two hours of people looking off in the distance, shrugging, walking around, riding bikes in silence, drinking water, sleeping, sitting in chairs, eating, and then about thirty minutes of gay sex scenes, all underscored by repetitive piano music. If that sounds up your alley, great. But everyone else might do well to bring a large cup of Starbucks with them into the theatre, because they’ll certainly need it during this snooze-fest disguised as art.

    With every lingering shot and painfully dull scene, Call Me By Your Name is practically begging to be written about in a college-level film studies essay. No doubt such an essay would mention the film’s languid pacing, its supple beauty, its sensuous direction, its sultry poetry, its ripe imagery—basically anything that has to do with heat and fruit, because apparently symbolism is more important these days than telling a good story. But arthouse pandering aside, what most struck me during this mind-numbing slog of a movie was how obvious it all was. One character is an archeologist who studies ancient Greek sculpture of the male form, so of course we are treated to shots of these muscular sculptures juxtaposed with identical shots of our two male lovers. Another character eats a soft-boiled egg for breakfast, so of course his finger massages the yolk out suggestively, at which point juices burst forth while his eyes meet his lover’s gaze across the table. Another character literally has sex with a peach, and his lover then takes a bite out of said peach. Is that even symbolism? I don’t know anymore. I’ll leave that to the film studies students.

    This past year, box office receipts are at their lowest level in a quarter of a century. Call Me By Your Name is identity politics without the consumer base to support it. Do gays folk flock to flicks showing straights spend two hours looking off in the distance, shrugging, walking around, riding bikes in silence, drinking water, sleeping, sitting in chairs, eating then about thirty minutes of heterosexual sex scenes?

    And, if they do, is it out of sense of obligation in the worship of diversity?

    Obviously, Hollyweird annoys me. I can’t think of any other group of elites that tries so darned hard to make themselves relevant.

    Comment by Heliotrope — March 5, 2018 @ 8:16 pm - March 5, 2018

  21. That Cracked thing;

    well, technically, that’s a meta-trailer.

    Meh. We gotta be pedantic, smug, and hype all the way or nothing, don’t we?

    ;-p

    Comment by Cyril J. — March 5, 2018 @ 9:43 pm - March 5, 2018

  22. Still, pretty decent satire 🙂

    Thanks for sharing.

    Comment by Cyril J. — March 5, 2018 @ 9:46 pm - March 5, 2018

  23. “Hollywood is basically middle school girls.”

    None of the girls at my middle school had a casting couch to trade sex for seats at the cafeteria

    OT:Guns & Roses, Axil Rose now a tranny with sagging tits who complains about first lady.

    https://gab.ai/Heartiste/posts/21089001

    Comment by Steve — March 5, 2018 @ 9:53 pm - March 5, 2018

  24. A well-educated young actress went to Victoria’s Secret and asked if she might have the sentence,

    “If you can read this, you’re too close!”

    embroidered on her panties and bras.

    “Yes, madam,” said the clerk, “I’m quite certain that could be done. So, what kind of lettering would you like it be done in?”

    “Braille.”

    Comment by Cyril J. — March 5, 2018 @ 10:01 pm - March 5, 2018

  25. None of the girls at my middle school had a casting couch to trade sex for seats at the cafeteria.

    Obviously we went to different High Schools… (HS Class of 1977)

    Comment by Ted B. (Charging Rhino) — March 5, 2018 @ 10:35 pm - March 5, 2018

  26. Also Hollywood: “OMG, that movie about the thirtysomething gay man and the high school boy was such a beautiful romance.”

    What about the fortysomething “bi-sexual” man who hooked up with the young man who was Timothée Chalamet’s age?

    Comment by Frank — March 6, 2018 @ 5:18 am - March 6, 2018

  27. Saw some pictures. Eva Marie Saint is still gorgeous. Loved Laurie Metcalf’s gown. (Love her, too!)

    Comment by Julie the Jarhead — March 6, 2018 @ 7:07 am - March 6, 2018

  28. @ 23, Steve, wow I was a fan of GNR at one time too. I’ll call him Trans Axl Rose for now on.

    Comment by James — March 6, 2018 @ 7:42 am - March 6, 2018

  29. CMBYN is Nazi pedophile propaganda, plain and simple. Depicting gay Jews as sexual predators is right out of Der Sturmer, and it’s doubly offensive when the director is not Jewish and is from a country that allied with Hitler during WWII and where they still don’t have gay marriage yet.

    Meanwhile, GOD’S OWN COUNTRY, a beautiful film about two gay men in love, each from different nations who bore the brunt of Hitler’s aggression in different ways, who would have been over the age of consent everywhere on Earth in real life, gets totally shut out.

    And in the foreign film department, a stunning French film about the early years of AIDS called BPM got totally shut out for some stupid and misogynistic tranny propaganda from Chile.

    Likewise, the delightful short cartoon IN A HEARTBEAT, despite being eligible for an Oscar for Best Animated Short Subject, was not nominated.

    This whole awards show was a fix. #OscarsSoStr8

    Comment by Matthew — March 6, 2018 @ 11:32 am - March 6, 2018

  30. Really speaks to how unoriginal you are as a story when you copy American Pie‘s famous scene and play it for drama.

    Comment by Sean L — March 6, 2018 @ 5:01 pm - March 6, 2018

  31. Matthew, well said!

    Comment by TADFORD — March 7, 2018 @ 12:29 am - March 7, 2018

  32. Prediction on the future of the Oscars:

    2019-2021 on Oxygen
    2022-2025 on cable box Ch. 377
    Post 2026 on some 3rd rate You tube like channel

    Comment by James — March 9, 2018 @ 10:26 am - March 9, 2018

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