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How Do You Qualify to Be a Lesbian?

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Actress Cynthia Nixon (who played in a cable series about the sex lives of gay men in New York back in the early part of the century, or maybe the late part of the last century {this is not worth looking up on Wikipedia}) is running against the Hereditary Heir to the Democrat Throne of the New York Governorship.  A theme of her campaign is apparently “A New York for the many, not just the few,” which is an odd slogan for a woman running as a Democrat against a Democrat in a state run entirely by Democrats.

A political rival describes Nixon as an “unqualified lesbian,” which makes me wonder who is in charge of deciding such things. Probably Ellen DeGeneres.

Comments

  4. Christine Quinn, the person responsible for this comment, is widely known as a nasty witch so this sort of mean bull dyke behavior is no surprise.

    Her buddy, Prince Andrew, is believed to be the person behind the anonymous “Vote for Cuomo, not the Homo” fliers that surfaced when his dad faced Ed Koch for both mayor and governor back in the day.

    But I’m sure he’s “evolved” since then.

  6. Oooh…it’s girl-on-girl [political] action! This should make all the political dude-bros in DC get instant erections. (If in no other way than through a Joey Tribiani-style fantasy.)

    So this is little more than an open display of the Green-Eyed Monster rearing its ugly head. Christine Quinn, as Speaker of the New York City Council, assumed that the next logical step in her ladder-climbing political ascension would be as Mayor of the City That Never Sleeps. She was poised to make history—not only as the first womyn, but as the first lezbyan to occupy Gracie Mansion. (“Hmmm, should I do the redecorating myself, or get Lance & Gunther from Unicorn Designs to do it?”) She even wrote a book (because that is what all authentic future officeholders do) about her life in advance of her bid.

    But it was not to be. Not only did she get trounced in the primary by Comrade De Blasé, she wasn’t even the voters’ number two choice (she came in third). To add insult to injury, her hagiographic book was panned as mostly being Tales From My Same-Gender Wedding And The Process Which Led Up To It. Poor Christine. Neither the endorsements of all three daily papers (including The New York Times) plus Gloria Steinem, Ed Koch [in an essentially posthumous endorsement], Whoopi, Murphy Brown, Meathead, and Sulu could push her to the front of the line. Oh myyyyy…

    Meanwhile, who endorsed and supported the eventual winner (and current hizzoner)? Why most of the unions operating in the Empire State, plus The Nation, Spooky Dude himself, George Soros; Howard Dean (Yaaaahhhh!), Planned Parenthood, and celebtivsts Alec Baldwin, Harry Belafonte, Alan Cumming, Susan Sarandon, Russell Simmons, plus Carrie, Mr Big—and Miranda from Sex In The City.

    Apparently, hell hath no fury like a lesbian scorned. This should be Ms Quinn’s time to shine and possibly enter the race against Blandy in Albany. Instead, she’s a has-been who has no current standing and hasn’t been in the public eye in five years. So, if you can’t play in any reindeer games, then you might as well attack those who do.

  8. Along with the plaid shirts and pit bulls, to be a qualified lesbian, you need to have a large set of keys on your hip and do set building for amateur theater. Mel Brooks caught it exactly in the stage version of The Producers.

  9. Obviously, Nixon doesn’t pass the Authentic Lesbian Sniff Test because she does not own a single pair of sensible shoes…. Her Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks and Louboutins obviously disqualify her….

  11. Another Important Qualification: the ability to work in the F*** word in every sentence that you speak. That way, if it doesn’t work out for you politically, you can always get a job at the Daily Kos.