So, gay athlete Michael Sam — the gay athlete who’s gay — was drafted by the Rams this week, which is totes awesome because he’s gay. Cue: Epic level squeeing from people who don’t much care about football normally.

Did I mention that Michael Sam is gay? Because he’s gay, you know.

Never has ESPN reacted with such teenage-girls-Beatles-Sullivan-Show like excitement to the 249th pick in the NFL Draft. The President even took a break from the hard work of developing a fiscally responsible budget plan and consulting with international leaders on matters of global importance his weekly golf game to call and congratulate the NFL’s 249th Draft Pick.

‘Cos don’t you get it? He’s gay! Gay! GAY! Gay! Gay! Gay!

What position does he play? Is he any good? Who cares? He’s GAY.

And that’s like, super-important, because no one cares about how he performs on the field, it just matters who he sleeps with at night.

Just another little reminder that in a Socialist society, the only purpose of sport is to serve the party and the agenda.